Improving Self Esteem

I recall hanging a magazine ad on my bedroom door when I was a boy. It was a PSA that said "you cannot raise yourself up by bringing another down."
The ad was aimed at preventing bullying and child abuse and at the time I felt it was an important point because it seemed that was what my father tended to do. Of course in hindsight I have to admit that had he really been abusive or violent I wouldn't have dared putting that up on my door for fear of the repercussions... but I digress.

Recent events by the American people as a whole though have me very concerned.You see I understand the desire that we all have to encourage self esteem. And while I will not argue that it would be better for kids to not become suicidal or depressed over certain issues, I think we take it too far.

I have seen and experienced the effects of depression and I was a child who could have had a little more positive encouragement. But I have found that what I really needed and indeed what most of us seem to need is to be able to accomplish things. I mean HELLO, I didn't need someone telling me "oh is that test too hard for you? well let's make it easier so you feel better about you." No what I NEEDED was to sit down and work at it until I WAS good enough to do well on the test and excel!

Well now I see both of the negatives from these two points coming togther in our society in a very dangerous way.
In short we are deliberately dragging ourselves down so that others can feel good. NOW WAIT A COTTON PICKIN MOMENT!
Like the PSA that hung on my door some 20 years ago I think we all need to be reminded that one person being dragged down, NO MATTER WHO IS DOING THE DRAGGING, does not raise up another person. In fact I think that attitude will only lead us to mediocrity and suffering.

Also I think that if we really want others to have something to feel good about, instead of dragging ourselves down it would be better to give them a helping hand UP in learning how to BE better.
Then they get better self esteem through their accomplishments and the world as a whole is improved.
All the goals that we face are answered.

Do you doubt it? How about a little test. Go out there and plant some seeds in the ground, do not water them, do not weed them, just dig a hole and shove them in... heck don't even cover them with dirt. Now be all sad and weepy that you do not have anything growing until someone hands you a flower or a piece of fruit. How does that make you feel?

Now try going out and plant a nice little garden. learn what kind of soil you have, find out what PH balance you need, water your seeds, fertilize them, make sure they have plenty of sun and keep the weeds out.
then when time for harvest or whatever comes around go out and pick yourself a nice bouquet of flowers or get some of those strawberries and make a nice dessert... NOW how do you feel?

You see the first one doesn't do anything for you. You have accomplished NOTHING and so while you have a nice pretty for the moment you don't have any long term satisfaction. the only "advantage" to the first approach is that you get to be A Lazy jerk.

The advantage to the second option though is that you have accomplished something. and while your flowers or dessert may be just as fleeting the memory is lasting and the sense of pride will be there for the rest of your life... And THAT is the best self esteem there is.

Once you have grown something from seed you know you can; and you know that if you ever want to you can do it again.

When you're lazy you never learn what it is you can or cannot do. and THAT leads to low self esteem.
We need to learn this and learn it now before it is too late.