Trying to understand depression

I think there is no one in this world who does not know about robin Williams’ death. I wonder how many have thought about the reactions of so many people.

I will not name names but I have seen some reactions that appall me. I read a blog where the author concluded that Williams was being selfish, one famous actor stated the same thing, another famous person stated that he was a coward.
Newspaper articles also berated him for his actions and said how awful it was that he should be so selfish or whatever.
I have to tell you that I was offended at that. I have known many people who suffered from depression. True clinical depression. And the thing that I find common to all of them is that unless you, Unless WE, have been there we ought not to jump to conclusions about their motivation.
When someone is going through depression there is little reason involved. At least there is little that we might be able to identify as reason.

Let me try to explain some of the thoughts of a person who is depressed. Here are some of the things that I have heard and seen in people exhibiting these signs.
“The world would be better off without me.”
“I am so weak.”
“I am useless or worthless.”
“No one wants me or needs me.”
“I am a miserable horrible person. It would be better if I had never been born.”
“The world is a worse place because I am here.”
“I make people around me miserable I ought to just not be here.”
“Life is so hard, I do not know how I am going to cope.”
“Everything is getting worse.”
“No one loves me.”

I said earlier that there was little reason involved but in reality there is a kind of reason, it just is skewed. Sadly society feeds that reasoning. Some of it is self-fulfilling. The person who is depressed has little control over the paths of their thoughts. They will see people around them stressed or upset because of the depression and so the thought that they are making these people unhappy is validated. Then because the depression is uncontrollable, the person suffering will reason that the only solution is to remove the problem, since the problem is themselves they will reason the only real solution is suicide.

Another form of reasoning might be, “I am to focused on myself and I cannot stop, so the only solution is to stop ME. People who say a depressed and suicidal person is selfish feeds this and makes things worse because they validate the opinion of the depressed person.

The person who is thinking that he is weak would likewise see validation in the statement of how he is being a coward.
The things we tend to say, in other words, feeds the depression and makes it worse. The only real good solution is to get them professional help. Sadly many depressives will not seek help because they are afraid of the stigma that goes with psychiatric care. Or they are afraid of losing things that they enjoy in their lives. If someone likes to target shoot and only feels better when he is doing that is afraid that a diagnosis of depression will cause him to lose his gun/s.
The sufferer who likes to let off steam through extreme sports is worried that she will be locked away because people want to “protect” her.
And they are right, at least to an extent.

What we need is to reach out to these people help then support them and get them treated. NOT take away all their rights or deny them the things that make them happy.

Yes keep them from hurting themselves. BUT do not go so far overboard that the situation is worse. After all is it so bad letting the guy have a gun or the girl participate in extreme sports, if that keeps them from becoming a danger to themselves?
While taking the guns away may inspire the guy to hang himself or keeping her from her sports may cause her to overdose on pills. How is that better?

I guess what I want to take away from here is, do not judge people for their depression. You do not know where they are or what they are feeling. They may be stronger than you think, you do not know because you are not in their shoes.