Understanding depression part 2

Please bear with me, I want to sum up my last post before I get started on this one…
To those who suffer from depression and heard from unfeeling jerks about how you should lead your life…
I am sorry that you had to face people who would disregard others like that.

I support you and I feel for what you are going through.

Now for all of you who want to say things like "get past it."

People, you are not the one suffering and you do not know what those people are going through,

Even if you have been through something “similar” you are a different person with different pain thresholds and tolerances so even if you have "been there" you do NOT know what THIS person is experiencing.
Stop making the situation worse! accept that this person is suffering, offer support and be there.
Stop judging! Do NOT say things like get over it because a major component of a lot of depression(s) is the fact that the person in it canNOT just get over it and to say they should adds to an already unbearable burden.
Love these people, care for them, give them a shoulder to cry on.
Most of all, if you feel the need to tell them to get over it or they are being cowardly or selfish... then the best advice I can give is SHUT UP! Do not say ANYTHING and just be there.

Now on to an expansion. I got to thinking about the last post after I typed it and all and then I thought of something else which I wanted to share. There are people who say a suicidal person is selfish and I started questioning that supposition.

See here is the thing. The depressed person is going through his or her own personal hell. That is not rhetoric by the way. They are suffering great amounts of mental anguish and pain. Sometimes beyond anything that anyone else can even imagine.
There is nothing you can compare that pain to. Nothing else steps up so extremely in life. Trying to compare the pain of ANYTHING else to suicidal depression is like trying to compare a light breeze caressing your face to an F5 Tornado.

So, when you say someone is being selfish for being suicidal, who is really the selfish one?

Why do people say this is a selfish thing? Because they are made to be unhappy when the depressed person commits suicide?
Because they are uncomfortable talking with these people?

Look if that is your reasoning, that they are being selfish because you or someone else might be slightly discomfited then maybe you ought to readjust your concept of selfishness because I would contend that YOU are the one who is really being selfish.

Yes that’s right. I see it as MORE selfish to demand that someone remain in their own personal hell just so you can feel better to be the real selfishness. You insist they give up any sense of relief so you don’t have to feel a little bad. Aw you poor whiny thing.

So my advice for you, before you point your fingers at who is selfish, look in the mirror. Then shut up, suck it up and go be there for the person who is hurting.